When it comes to love and relationships, the field can seem mind boggling at times. You want him to love you and respect you and are trying to find the fast way there. The truth is there is no fast way there; you can’t make him respect you anymore than he can make you respect him.
If you are looking for a loving relationship that is going to last, you have to put the work in yourself as well. If you want to know how to make him respect you, be the woman worth that respect, by following these few simple tips.
- Wait for sex. Men and women view sex differently. We connect emotions to it; he doesn’t. If he sleeps with you on the first date, it has nothing to do with an intense emotional connection for him, at least not as much as it does with you. If you make him wait for sex until there is mutual respect on the table, it sends the message to him that you consider yourself a woman of worth and aren’t just giving it away to anybody. That’s a key first step in earning his respect. The man who doesn’t call you after saying no isn’t worth energy boo-hooing about if respect is what you are seeking.
- Challenge him. A man loves a woman he can have a friendly debate with. Express your opinions even if they are different than his ¾ in fact, especially if they are different than his. There is a fine art in disagreeing with someone without putting them down; learn that art and use it in your conversations with men. He will highly respect your ability to hold your own.
- Laugh at yourself. A woman who can trip down a set of stairs on a first date and then make a joke about it will earn his instant respect. It sends the message to him that you are easy to be with and don’t expect everybody to be perfect. Note there’s a fine line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down all the time. Learn where that fine line is, and stay away from it by laughing at your faux pas every now and then.
- Give respect. You will receive as much love as you give, so if you don’t show ways that you respect him, he is not going to reciprocate. Respect his space, his privacy, his time and his honesty and even thank him for it. “Thanks for calling me back; thanks for the invitation.” You get the picture. Simple thank yous go a long way in earning his respect; it shows him that you appreciate his efforts, and appreciation is all men really want from the woman they love.
- Be honest. This is a day and age where honesty is rare. Always be honest with him, even when he won’t like what you have to say. There’s something to be said about a woman who isn’t afraid to keep it real. When he knows you are honest with him, he not only returns it, but you also earn his respect as a quality person who is much different than most others.
- Teach him how to treat you. A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t put up with anything less than that is a woman who not only earns his respect, but the respect of all of those around her. If he says something that is a little out there, call him on it. If he shows up late or doesn’t keep his promises, call him on it. When he knows that you won’t put up with certain things, it puts him in check, and if he really wants you, he will correct the behavior. Note this is another area with a fine line. Putting him in check over showing up an hour late is much different than going psycho-chick over a genuine delay. Practice the art of teaching him how to treat you without going postal.
- Respect yourself. Nonverbal cues play a big role here. This has a lot to do with laughing at yourself but goes a little deeper. If you don’t love yourself, he will know it, no matter what you say verbally to try and hide that. And if you don’t respect yourself, you have no business expecting him to either. Nonverbal cues that show off your confidence, such as smiling, sitting up straight and laughing out loud, show him that you are comfortable with yourself and don’t mind displaying it.
Like every relationship in life, whether that is with your best friend, mom or boyfriend, you can’t make anyone respect you; you need to earn that respect. By being the woman who is honest with him, keeps her promises, sticks to her standards and lets him be him, you become a woman of worth that he will not only want to be around, but will need to be around. We all love to be around quality people; if you want him to think of you that way, you need to live it even when you aren’t with him.