Are you feeling like you are the victim of unrequited love? Does it feel like you have tried everything to get him to notice you two are sharing the same planet? Or maybe you’ve been married for a little while and feel like your partner has completely forgotten how sexy, awesome and thrilling you are? No matter what stage of relationship you are in, even if that stage is simply “want to be in one,” follow these dos and don’ts and prepare to start making his head turn … in the right direction.
- DO: Make sure he knows you like him. Sometimes guys are clueless. But when they know someone likes them, whether it is reciprocated or not, they notice you more. You don’t have to wear your heart on your sleeve and freak him out. A smile, catching his eye once in a while, “accidentally” bumping into him at the coffee shop, brushing an invisible piece of lint off of his shoulder … all of these subtle nonverbal cues send him the message that you are alive and well and eager to be noticed.
- DO: Flirt. It is not enough to let him know you like him—you need to show him. And even if the man you are interested in is not available, a well-placed flirt will still get his attention. Men LOVE women who take a little bit of the initiative. It takes a little bit of pressure off of them. If he’s not in your life already, a little flirting will go a long way. “Who did you inherit that gorgeous smile from?” is a great icebreaker because he will have no choice but to … smile before he responds. And if he IS in your life already, that doesn’t mean the flirting has to stop.
- DON’T: Be someone you are not. How many times have you been out at the bar or restaurant and seen the girl who has suddenly taken an interest in darts, even though outside of that atmosphere she wouldn’t even know what one was if it was thrown right at her? The word pathetic comes to mind, right? Don’t be something you are not, because you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. Yes, he will notice you, but he will also keep on walking. Men know fake from pretty far away.
- DO: Ask him for help on something. This is one of the age-old “tricks” and is considered tried and true because it simply works. Asking a man to do something manly, like open a jar for you, will accomplish two goals: make him feel like a man, and make him notice that you are sharing the same planet. As primal and old-fashioned as it is, men still love to come to women’s rescue. After he helps you, don’t forget to flirt.
- DO: Look him in the eye. It’s a nonverbal cue that goes a long way. You know from experience that anyone, man or woman, who looks you in the eye when you are talking gets a little more trust from you in an instant. Well, guess what happens when you do it to him? He notices you more. Look him in the eye yes, stare longingly at someone who hasn’t asked you out yet, no. Say “Thank you!” and meet his eyes, then carry on. Anything longer than a second is just plain creepy.
- DO: Be mysterious. Let him know you want him (using any combination of the above signals), but leave him wanting more. Don’t put it all out there on the first date, or even in the first convo. If you keep him guessing, he will notice you more … and more … and more.
- DO: Dress sexy, but not like you dress that way “for a living.” Of course men love it when women wear low-cut blouses and skirts up to there, but mostly for their fantasy time. They don’t want to take that girl home to mom. He loves it when you bare a little skin on occasion, but there is a fine line between sexy elegance and sleazy trash. Walk the line, don’t cross it, or you will be noticed for all of the wrong reasons.
- DON’T be unavailable. There is some misconception in today’s dating society that if you don’t answer the phone when he calls, it sends the message that you “have a life” and “don’t need him.” If you didn’t need him, you wouldn’t want him to notice you more. This tactic and others like it scream high-maintenance to men and they will very quickly keep walking. They want someone who is available for them and won’t play the hard-to-get game. Men actually are nervous about asking women out, and the possibility of that happening is directly proportional to his confidence in her yes. I.e., if she’s playing hard to get, he’s less likely to ask her out.
The bottom line for those wondering how to get him to notice you more is to start taking the ball in your court, but slowly. Women fall into the trap of thinking that men need to do the chasing, and if he’s not chasing her with a sign that says “I like you!” then he’s not interested. Whether you are single or have been married for 20 years and feel invisible, these tactics will work. If you want him to notice you more, FIRST ask yourself the question, “What have I done to show him that I notice him?” When you can master the art of sending subtle signals without going overboard, you can rest assured your efforts will not be in vain.